A Clarification

"And these were Heavenly because
he never saw them clear enough
to satisfy his love, his need
to see them all again, again."

– Wendell Berry

What I meant was
of all the human beings in the world,
any of whom could and would disappoint me,
all of whom can and do disappoint me,
you're the one I want
failing me most.

I want you failing me every day,
which is one way of saying
I want you close.
I want our masterpiece
depicting someone kinda like you
only more awesome and less human
vaporized by a kiss with reality,
which is one way of saying
we should kiss more.
If I had my pick
of all the world's crosses to bear
I'd choose you—in my weakest moments
you're the one I want
pinning me to the earth.

All the disappointment so far
has not been enough. I've always prayed
for the chance to be wrong
about you again, again.
I now believe that in this one regard
you'll never be capable
of satisfying me:
You can't fail me enough
to dispel my dogged appetite.
I'm afraid that's another reality
we must learn to accept.

There are kinder
and certainly more effective ways
to say I love you—
but from me, a novice
at loving mortals
to you, a novice
at appearing mortal,
this seems in this blossoming
moment the most eternal.